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The Art of Name-Dropping

We all have one or two friends who are expert on the social art of name-dropping. You know the ones that talk a thousand words a minute, and give you so much information in 60 seconds to make your head twirl. It doesn’t really matter whether it is true or not. It’s just totally entertaining.

It normally goes like this: ‘How are you, how are you? Kiss, kiss. I went to a dinner last night and sat next to Diane. Talked to Barry for a bit but was not totally fun. Then Henry and Marie-Jose mentioned something about Casa de Campo and we all chatted about Harbour Island and Mustique. Have you been? You have to get invited. Across the table, Carolina and Reinaldo were talking about how hard it is to get a good cook and whispering that they are trying to steal Diana’s who makes this amazing chocolate cake that everyone is in love with. Fun dinner, but the food was horrible. Then for lunch I went to Susan’s. Valentino was there, looking rather old, I must say. His boyfriend Giancarlo had so much make up on he left a big spot on my white blouse. Elle looked divine and I think she must have something with Hugh; they couldn’t take their eyes (and hands) of each other. Humm. What are you doing this weekend? Mike invited me to Bermuda.- Don’t know what I am going to do, all he does is play golf but I think Micheal and Catherine will be there, so I’ll see them. Cameron is so much better. What about Springbreak? I’m debating between Tulum and St. Barts. Chris takes a house in Tulum every year and it is super fun. Tory, Gigi and Carol come with their children. St.Barts is also great fun, so I may just do half and half.- How about you? Did I tell you about Thanksgiving? This will amuse you. I went to Martha’s. She cooked an a-mazing dinner for 10 (with 3 people behind her to help) and then something awful happened. One guest was invited with a plus one and Martha didn’t have enough chairs! Can you imagine? Martha didn’t have enough chairs! Anyway, the couple left. It was lovely to see you.- you look great. Kiss, kiss.”

And so on and so forth.

I must say that I am totally amused by these friends, specially when I know that yes, it is true they were invited and participated in all of these events. The social gossip is just charming, not malicious and totally humorous.

And then there are the other ones, you know the ones, we all know people like this too, that wish they had been invited, hoped they had been included, are desperate to be part of the group and just repeat the gossip with no first hand experience. They twist the charm to maliciousness, add their two cents to criticize and make fun of people just for the sheer pleasure of beign nasty. Those are the people that name-drop with anger and bitterness. They are not fun and, frankly, they have no social graces. They are so desperate to be accepted that they make up malicious stories to engrace themselves with the group. They think its funny. The rest of the world doesn’t. What they don’t understand is that it is a total turn-off and everyone makes a mental note to not be around them.

My other favorite name-dropper person is the one that is constantly trying to be photographed with “famous” people. They are totally open about their obsession and, frankly, are incredibly proud of themselves. They are the ones that will jump across a room full of people to stand next to some one with any degree of fame in the hopes that some photographer takes their picture. The same person will push you away at a drinks party and will step on your toes in the mad rush to celebrity spotting. This person is obssesed with fitting in, with becoming part of the group, with beign considered. 

Generally, this person is totally innofensive and in a way laughable in their relentless and ridiculous social climbing. It does, however, become more problematic when they believe their own lies. You have seen them around right? A friend sent me a photo posted on instagram of someone claiming that her sweet, darling grandfather was sitting with President Bush.- The problem was that President Bush was nowhere to be seen in the photo. I mean, really, if you are going to name drop, for God’s sake just do it right!