Let me Tell you! For the last three years I have been the brunt of my ex-husband's petty and cruel behavior. He has relentlessly attacked me personally and in the courts filing suits for invented wrong-doings on my part. All lawsuits have been dismissed because of lack of evidence and because they are unfounded.- I feel a bit like Judge Kavanaugh on this: being accused of something someone believes you have done but have not really.
My ex-husband (I hate using the word "my"... I really don't want him!) must have a lot of hidden money that was not disclosed during our divorce, as I know how much lawyers cost. I also think that his lawyers must be incredibly dis-honest to keep taking his money knowing perfectly well that he is deranged, psychotic and a proven liar. Oh well.- He is of the thought that if you just keep repeating the same made-up story over and over, people will eventually believe it.
Here is a short paragraph I found online about the psychology of people who like to sue and it totally rings true.
“Keep in mind that people who file frivolous lawsuits are usually lonely and angry souls with too much spare time and too few friends. It takes a level of desperation and self-loathing to expend the expenses and time it takes to file a frivolous lawsuit. Try to muster some sympathy for this person, for your own good, because it may help you avoid trial. Try to settle out of court––apologize for anything that you might have done wrong, compromise as much as you can without sacrificing your dignity, and try to empathize a little. Sometimes a little kindness goes a long way.”
Having tried the "compromise" route and being told that it was considered "harassment" now I just continuing doing what I have been advised by the various psychiatrists I have consulted: do nothing.
He has, sadly, brained-washed our children (now 18 and 19) about whatever it is that I have done by instilling fear and incertitude. Telling them he won't pay for their schools, trips, clothes, house etc... if they see or talk to me. Manipulating them into behaving disrespectfully towards me, convincing them that I am the source of all the troubles. Encouranging them to sue me with frivolous law suits that just spend more and more money.
It is a fact that male alienating parents suffer from borderline personality, are emotionally weak, consider themselves victims (and so blame others for their wrong-doings) and twist reality using trumped up accusations that are actually projections of what they are themselves. For example, calling me "crazy" when in fact he is the one that has serious emotional problems. Alienating parents enlist others in their circle to join their side and fight "us" against "her". This parental alienation is a form of abuse and it is considered so in the courts. Clearly, he is showing no love for the children and, by choosing to be so hideous towards me, he is deeply hurting them.
In a classic alienating parent behavior, he hides behind his son-from-another-mother to do his work, a 30's some kid who still lives with him and is totally dependent for emotional support and approval... and money. The kid is newly married to an older girl with an unhealthy social ambition who, apparently, is ambushing my old friends in order to get onto that mystical social ladder that nobody knows where it goes. They all live together in a 4bedroom house designed to be a summer weekend cottage. The house was designed by the fabulous Chessy Rayner and the girl, with her bland taste and pretension, has managed to erase every memory of Chessy's sophisticated style.
I guess their grand plans of wealth have not really panned out as such. I can only imagine what evenings must be like: a lot of drinking, a lot of bad energy, a lot of toxic conversation, a lot of anger and disappointment.
Writing this is incredibly cathartic, distilling feelings and emotions that I can now let go.- I cannot change their attitude towards me or stop them from pursuing me legally or personally. All I can do is block myself from their toxicity and ban them from hurting me. I am not sure of the psychology behind this kind of group behavior or what sick pleasure they are getting from being so hurtful. Are they all still so in love of me? Do they miss me so much they cant let go?